Like many people around the world, I was shocked to find out Avicii, or Tim Bergling, has died on April 20, 2018. I’ve never been to his shows or consider myself a big fan, but his songs are always something I look forward to when shuffling through the musical landscape that is Pandora or Spotify. Their catchy melody and beautiful arrangement is a perfect blend of ear-worm lyrics and a contagious beat that make you wanna rock out in your seat. One thing I also noticed in most of his songs is this forlorn love that he had lost or is searching for. I always find myself pausing and taking in those lyrics when I’m listening, because I also feel the same.

In “Waiting for Love”, he wrote:
I’ll be waiting for love, waiting for love
To come around

Even in an anthem like “Without You,” he started with:
I got to learn how to love without you
I got to carry my cross without you
Stuck in the middle and I’m just about to
Figure it out without you
And I’m done sitting home without you
Fuck I’m going out without you
I’m going to tear this city down without you
I’m going Bonnie and Clyde without you

It soon transitions to:
Now I’m running away my dear
From myself and the truth I fear
My heart is beating I can’t see clear
How I’m wishing that you were here

In his search for love (or so it seems in his songs), his career also placed him in a volatile environment where drugs and drinking is prevalent and the norm. In an article with Billboard, Tim acknowledged that he doesn’t feel comfortable with the lifestyle of a DJ. He simply wanted to make music. And in this acknowledgement and realization, he did try to change. He stop drinking and stop touring. He went back to the studio and back to the music. This is the part that makes this really painful for me. I hate it – hate it – when someone is trying to turn their life around and it’s still not enough. We still don’t know what happened, but whatever the case I still think it’s so unfortunate.

I can only hope that he is finally happy and at peace.

“Life’s a game made for everyone
And love is a prize”

“So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself, and I
Didn’t know I was lost”